1: If it claims it's free, and requires a credit card in order to use basic expected functions of the site (such as send messages to other users), it's a scam site. Flee quickly, and report it to the Federal Trade Commission ASAP. You may want to scan your computer for malware and viruses that these sites tend to install without your permission.
2: Never, ever post any information you are not comfortable with having online. Especially noted items are income levels, cell phone or land line phone numbers, addresses (even P.O. Boxes), real names, email addresses, and any means to identify or locate you in the real world.
Any site that requires any of these items is a scam site. Flee quickly, and report it to the Federal Trade Commission ASAP. You may want to scan your computer for malware and viruses that these sites tend to install without your permission.
3: Look at the last log in time of a person you're thinking of emailing FIRST. If they haven't been in 3 months, then maybe they'll respond. If they haven't been there in 6+ months, don't bother. The account was either abandoned, or a shill account in order to lure in victims.
4: If a person has a long laundry list of things they want, ignore them. They're stuck up on their version of perfection, and want the high-income doctor-victim whose too dumb to see it coming.
5: Short, generic profiles, poor grammar and spelling, and one blurry pic or alternately, a few obviously professional pics, are tell-tale signs of a fake profile. Modern webcams and cell cameras take very clear shots, and most people should have a mix of self shots, and family shots that they can edit for use.
6: If you want the most responses and even some attractive women messaging you; list a high income. six figures will have them running.
Dear Mr Grimm,
ReplyDeleteI can't contradict your experiences on POF or OkCupid, but I think you may be overlooking that ladies experience the same in reverse; there are many 'user' men in the world as well as women, I can assure you, in terms of looking for a sexual conquest or an unpaid housekeeper and even an income and/or a home.
On POF I personally found some nice men who couldn't manage the skills needed to chat or message well, yet still wanted to meet in real life (for what reason, I hate to think)and many lazy, repulsive men(referring to their attitude) who couldn't be bothered to put the effort into chatting or messaging and seemed cynical about women (an attitude not deserved by me) or just deliberately disrespectful.
I always preferred OkCupid, but with hindsight would have to admit nearly all my chat-friends there were foreign, Muslim and younger than me. While surprised, I didn't discriminate and found these guys lovely, intelligent and interesting to 'talk' to. Perhaps that's why I enjoyed OkCupid very much for 18 months or so. I also liked the friendly 'inclusive' manner and quizzes on OkCupid. I did meet 3 men from OKC and all were as described and as depicted. Having said that, 1 had an emotional crisis, 1 had some kind of 'issues' such as clinging and selfishness and the third is the one I am now connected to (perhaps unwisely), but our path is anything but smooth.
As to nowadays, I deleted my PoF profile because of the abusive men and because I had never met any good friends on there. I don't enjoy OkCupid much anymore. I did meet someone online and we got married, but are unable to live together because of financial problems. Because I am usually broke, bored and alone, I would like to chat as I used to, but very few people hail me now and I have no ongoing friends on OkCupid at all.
As you can see, I am not a gold digger, but I don't see how you can blame women or men for not wanting to date possible 'losers'/'spongers'/ 'freeloaders'/'moochers' when they themselves have worked hard to acquire a home, an income and may have children to consider as well. As parents would say, if they were ever consulted nowadays about the best match for their offspring, money DOES matter as far as quality of life is concerned and especially when it comes to providing for children.
In addition, a capitalist system demands certain qualities for success, such as reliability, industriousness, perseverance and honesty that are partly proven by work history and usually rewarded by some kind of steady income as well. Shouldn't anyone be well-advised to seek a partner with those qualities, as opposed to somebody without them? Harriett Bean.