I have, until recently, been on the two most popular "dating" sites Plenty of Fish and OKCupid. My experiences on both have been identical.
First off, Plenty of Fish is fishy enough, requiring the dubious requirement of a user posting their income level. There is no logical reason for this, other than unethical (if not illegal) data mining. For this reason, do NOT sign up for Plenty of Fish. Some things are completely unnecessary for a website to have, such as your home address, cell phone number, and income. It's on par with them requiring a Social Security Number (in the United States; other countries substitute your country's equivalent).
On to the meat of this post.
I have had exactly two profiles each on both sites. Two of which were no income listed (on OKCupid)/Low income (required for selling to third parties by PoF); two of which I posted an obscenely high income level.
Now, normally, I would never post an income level, on any site. It's simply none of your damn business. Especially on a dating site, which I'll come to in a moment. However, I have felt that being as straightforward and honest in my assessment of myself would be better for any long term relationship potential in meeting on such sites; liars generally aren't looked on highly (just look at members of Congress). And, again in my opinion, starting out a relationship on a dishonest note is not the best start to that relationship.
As such, I'm quick to point out my quirks; I'm a nerd, a gear head, and a musician of sorts. I'm teaching my self computer programming in order to write a game, play cRPGs, collect and use historic and reproduction weaponry (firearms and swords), and take a bit to warm up to a person. I typically expound on these things for 3-5 paragraphs, pointing out some of my long term goals as well as interests.
This is constant among all four profiles. All of them read similarly.
Now, on to the show:
OKCupid:No Income: Out of over 100 messages sent, 0 replies.
OKCupid:Obscene Income: Out of 10 messages, 7 replies.
Granted, this is not remotely scientific in scope. I wanted to just see if a high income profile got a higher response rate than a no listed income on. It did. Another issue was that technically, the OKC profile was the same, just with the income changed, and I immediately got higher responses, and even some first contacts, by changing my income to a "suitable level".
I quit OKC in disgust after this.
PoF:Low Income: 6 messages, 0 replies.
PoF:High Income: 6 messages, 4 replies.
Similar stats, though I don't consider PoF to be a legitimate website due to requiring sensitive personal information in order to be used. Messages were similar in content, though on the earlier, no income OKC profile I used to write messages built off of something I read in the profile. After so many "fuck off, you don't make enough money to pay my whore-fee" lack of responses, I just started using a generic message.
What does this prove? Nothing. This is far to limited in scope, and number of tests to work out as anything. However, it does disturb me to an extent. It matches well my ex-wife, who left after I failed to buy her a $60,000 SUV, instead preferring a compact car that averaged 35mpg and had a better ride.
It also matches forum complaints on OKC, which persist at such a rate that they're considered daily annoyances by regular, jaded forum users who mock those complainers.
In short, it appears that one of two things is going on on these "dating" websites.
1 - Women are not serious about forming a relationship there, and are trolling for attention as a means to waste time, much like normal people do with Solitaire card games or Rogue-likes on the computer.
2 - Women on these sites are much more interested in finding a desperate, reasonably wealthy male who they can quickly scam into marrying, divorce after they cheat on their man, and live happily ever after with a large alimony payment in a house they don't pay for, driving cars they don't pay for, and all because the court system is biased towards women.
In the first case, you're a waste of effort; get off the site so that real people can use them for what they are meant for. The second case, you aspire to be merely a waste of effort, go back to your street corner.
I'll admit my dating situation is quasi-desperate. I refuse to go to bars, as I despise drunks, so my dating pool is practically non-existent. Work is pretty much all men or very old women, so that's out. Church is even older women. Coupled with a natural shyness and a growing amount of cynicism, I'm pretty much stuck with the gold diggers and fakes that populate the free sites. Forget the scam sites, that are nothing but fake profiles and bots trying to entice you to give them your credit card number.
It's not fully desperate, because I refuse to accept a drunken gold digger; I'll stay single. And it's looking more and more like that's the best option for a man to choose. Stay single, let the women fight over an increasingly small pool of willing victims.
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